The Shropshire Pome

As some of you know, on these trips the main curse is

You all have to hear some ridiculous verses.

It was Barbara’s idea that she could afford us

A wonderful trip with The Arts to the Borders.

I woke up one day in a terrible muddle - oh

How could I find me a rhyme for this Ludlow?

Well, we started with Martin without any fuss,

Who drove us away in his marvellous bus.

The weather was bad, it was really a pain,

We had to drive north in the bucketing rain.

The first stop was Ledbury; the rain stopped all right,

So we walked round the houses  all built black and white.

And when we got back we could not help glancing

At some of the townsfolk doing Old English dancing.

Then at Stokesay Court we found every room

With really dark panels creating a gloom.

Then we drove on to Ludlow in the foulest of weathers

And got to our hotel, the admirable Feathers.

Next day around Ludlow we walked with our guide

Who insisted we went to the church with inside

The misericorda - naughty carvings on some,

Where all the old monks had rested their bum.

Then later a crash: it turned out to be Joan,

Who had tripped on a step. But she injured no bone.

Next, the castle at Eastnor, it’s really a charmer,

With lots of fine pictures and masses of armour.

One of our group thought her phone was a goner,

But ti turned up OK, it was lucky for Honor.

Next day to stop us from being so very bored

We got on the bus and drove off to Hereford.

The cathedral was once, a remarkable thing,

Dedicated to Mary but also to a king!

We went to the lib’ry where there is unfurled 

The great Mappa Mundi, the map of the world.

At the back of the lib’ry we all had a look

Where in order to keep them they’d chained every book.

Lunch then at Kentchurch was certainly good before

We met with the heir of the family Scudamore.

He showed us the house which once had a flood

When all the fine carpets were covered in mud.

He’d inherited the house and it’s very large grounds.

To keep it must cost him some millions of pounds.

The castle at Stokesay has been there for years 

As we learned from an audio clutched to our ears.

Some of us climbed to the battlement top

While some in the sunshine decided to flop.

The castle at Powys is really sublime, 

And we found in the garden many footsteps to climb.

One thing that I found out that not many know is

His Lordship the Earl always calls himself Pois.

At dinner that evening we all drank a toast

To Martin, our driver, and Barbara our host.

Back home via Broadway, a place of renown,

The Gate of the Cotswolds, a fabulous town.

It was easy to see as you went for a walk

It has nothing to do with that street in New York!

The Manor at Snowshill then finally made

An excellent end, thanks to Charles Paget Wade.

He’d bought thousands of objects, the price didn’t matter,

He must have been crazy - as mad as a hatter.

There was armour and ships, penny-farthings and clocks,

Jewels and ivories kept in a box,

Musical instruments, cabinets galore:

The weirdest collection that I ever saw.

So it’s time to say Thankyou. I’ll name no more names

Except for our Martin and Barbara James.

They have given us all a most wonderful trip,

So it’s Hurrah for Martin and Barbara - Hip-hip!